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2003-01-25 - 8:52 p.m.

The Truth about Cats and Dogs

So my cat (Noodle) is sitting near my feet on a "Where's the Beef?" beach towel (circa 1980s). He appears rather content, although the moving boxes that are building up around the apartment seemed to disturb him somewhat today. He looks at me with that blinkie-eyed cat expression as if to ask "Where we goin', Momma?" He doesn't yet seem to comprehend the concept of "new apartment" and "5 weeks from now" but I will keep trying.

In other news, I went to visit Buddy today at the boarding place, which I do every week. He was all hyper and jumpy and spazzy, but that's Buddy for ya. He pulled me along as usual (yes, I'm going to enroll in training classes) and we went to our favorite corner on the property, away from all the dogs barking their furry heads off. We watched the "moo cows" over in the next field through the fence and sat down for our weekly chat. I try to play Pet Psychic and talk to him like Sonja whats-her-name to find out if he's being beaten or treated like a prisoner in "Oz," but he just looks at me like "Who are you again?" I do believe he's going slightly batty from being at this place. It must be a nightmare for him. He's not much of a barker himself (very rarely and it's more like a low "wooof woooof") so he's got to be wondering what planet these yippers came from. Must be torture on his poor eardrums. Interestingly enough, he doesn't seem to understand "new apartment" or "5 weeks from now" either. At least I must sound more perky than the usual "I'm working on finding a new place, I prooooomise." Hopefully he won't be a complete mental case when I finally spring him from the joint.

I just wandered out to my balcony to have a smoke. Yes, yes, I know it's bad for me and I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna. I will, you just watch. Anyhoo, I have a great view of the courtyard and pine trees, and squirrels sometimes jump from the trees to the roof which is highly thumpy and rather cool. And there's a family of lizards that come out from the nooks and crannies when the weather's warm. Noodle loves 'em, so much that he's killed a few (apparently while in some excited state -- during my absence -- I would never allow this had I witnessed it with my own peepers!) So I'm out there having a smoke and the people across the courtyard on the 2nd floor are having a party and there are several conversations going on all at once and I can hear most of it pretty clearly. This has happened so many times since they've lived across from me I've lost count. I know a LOT about their lives which is rather scary. I wonder how much of my phone conversations they hear when I'm on the porch! Fortunately for them, my life is more interesting than theirs, and I'm AWARE they can hear me if they're outside. They don't seem to get that everyone within earshot can hear them especially when they belt it out while drunk. This night, Paul was talking to some gal named Terri about his cheating ex-wife and how selfish she became when she was pregnant, and then Tina showed up on the balcony and he decided not to continue, then Tina winds up talking to Terri and continues the story where he left off...and then later, she ends up on top step outside the door crying about Paul to Terri (I think) and Paul's on the balcony talking about Tina to his buddy. Did they NOT hear each other talking a few feet away? It was surreal like some really bad Calvin Klein fragance commercial. Oh wait, that's redundant. But the best thing is when they fight outside -- unless I'm trying to sleep or concentrate. But if I'm just zoning out there on the balcony I try to soak up the jist of the argument. Lots of whining and they interrupt each other a lot: "Blah, whine, blah...Paul!"..."Tina. Look. Will you just..Tina! I just...wait. WAIT A MINUTE. TINA! Just hear me OUT, OK?" and she gets quiet and within about 20 minutes she's in tears. Then they go have sex, I think. Sweet. Nice relationship. Pretty normal, actually.

I wish I could get up the nerve to yell across the courtyard one morning: "Hey! Great fight last of your best!" just to see the reaction on their faces.

I still don't understand why they've never invited me to one of their parties. If I have to listen to their stories time and time again, they could at LEAST ask me to come over and offer me some free booze, ya know?

Ooooo, update: The fight is continuing inside but the sliding door is half open so I could still hear Paul ranting and raving...something about "3 years." This is rapidly developing into a bad boys, bad boys, whatchoo gonna do? moment.

So on second thought, DON'T invite me over, people. I'd like my brain matter to stay inside my skull if you don't mind.


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