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Yeahimadork

2003-01-31 - 12:35 a.m.

Random Thoughts about Elves and Work

Orlando Bloom as Legolas in LOTR is so hot. Makes me wanna jump on his head and fuck his pointy elf ears.

Seriously.

Anyhoo, elf fucking aside, things at work are totally screwed up. Have been for a loooong time. Especially ever since our team began being managed by a gal I'll call Slammy. She's my age, married with 3 kids. Somehow our previous boss, who moved into another group, promoted her to manage our team a year and a half ago. I don't know what the hell he was thinking (he was always lost in his whole little world of tech shit anyway), but she has all the management skills of a toddler with ADD.

She blows off meetings.

She's never available when you need her.

She takes forever to respond to emails, if she responds at all.

She pawns off her work to other people.

She can't express what she needs you to do because she doesn't understand what she's asking for, and if you ask a question for clarification, she'll act as if you're an idiot.

She is atrocious.

During meetings, she treats members of our team like unruly kids at the dinner table. I always have the feeling she's about to bitch slap somebody.

Her favorite whipping boy is a guy of South American descent that I'll call Dorito. He was promoted to his position at the same time Slammy was and he has no clue what he's doing either.

Now, while I think Slammy treats Dorito like crap on my cat's ass, I also have to say that Dorito is practically BEGGING to be made fun of. He does the STUPIDEST shit and doesn't seem fazed in the least when he's embarrassed by Slammy in front of tons of people. He usually winds up making the situation worse by saying something even more stupid, which is hard to imagine and even harder to listen to. He'll go on and on, jamming his foot down closer and closer to his intestines and I'm cringing in my chair screaming inside my brain "SHUT UP!! SLAM THE LID ON IT NOW, YOU GODDAMNED FREAK!"

Yet, in private, he'll defend Slammy and say she's under a lot of pressure. He doesn't seem to have a defense for his idiotic behavior though. Personally, I think they have a sicko co-dependent relationship. Must be some kinda S&M work thing. I've never witnessed anything like it.

I'll elaborate more on the adventures of Slammy and Dorito in future entries, but suffice to say, this team has been run into the fucking ground by her inadequacy in particular. Dorito just adds fuel to the fire and fucks up the mix that much more.

It's rumored that 12 people in our team's organization are going to be laid off tomorrow...er, today. (It's after midnight. Criminey!) I'm half praying for a severence package and half worried I might lose my job. Being out of a job sucks, but at the same time, I'd willingly hand this job over to anyone who wants it.

YOU try dealing with Slammy and Dorito.

Yeah, I figured you were chicken.