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2006-10-09 - 9:50 p.m.

Ooooof

On Saturday I jaunted out into the big wide world, in an easterly direction (I think), towards Best Buy.

I was in the mood to purchase electronic goodies.

Goal #1: TiVo. Oh yes. With as much experience as I have watching TV for endless hours, I might as well go pro (Coach SweetPea says it's time).

Goal #2: Long phone cord (dependent on Goal #1), so I can hook TiVo up to the phone jack on the opposite side of the goddamn bedroom wall. Next to the bed, BEHIND the heavy bookcase. As I discovered after much peering behind every piece of furniture with one eye and my face smooshed to the wall. (Fun!)

Goal #3: DVDs and CDs. Because I was going to Best Buy. One can never go to Best Buy without purchasing something that delights the peepers and/or ears. It's practically a law.

Now, the timing of this journey was especially scheduled (after much restless channel surfing/flopping about in bed/icky chores/general boredom) knowing that half the city would be at Keeneland for the first Saturday of the October meet.

I always seem to get the urge to go shopping at the exact wrong times, like the when I decided to go to Target, the weekend before school started. FUCK!

And the only time I'm ever in the mood for Denny's or IHOP is on a Sunday around 11:30. Just like everyone else. I believe it's wired into our brains. Some Moons over My Hammy/Fruity Tooty gene. Although, for the record, I prefer either club sandwiches, or pancakes, with sausage and scrambled eggs on the side.

ANYHOO, I made it to Best Buy (traffic was light as I predicted -- whee!), but the parking lot was still almost full. Geeks don't like horse racing? Perhaps. Or these were the other wise folks, like myself, who decided to skip the claustrophic crowd at Keeneland and buy some electronic gee-goos instead.

When you walk into Best Buy, it assaults the senses. Hip music with loud bass blaring, 17 big screen TVs flashing different programs, bright yellow and blue deco, HOT BESTSELLERS! everywhere you look, the smell of plastic newness, and the feel of pulsing energy and static - you can almost taste it. (I wonder what their electricity bills run a month?)

Everytime I walk in there, I immediately want to leave. Too...Much...Shit! Don't...Belong...Here. But I am somehow compelled to stay. Especially when they have The Little Mermaid on DVD for $14.99. Then there's "Ohhhhh -- looky that!" followed by the inevitable "Ooooh -- looky there!"

So I pawed around by the DVR aisle, and as I thought (after some research a few months back), BB only sells the 80 hour TiVos in store. Which only amounts to half the recording time if you want the best quality. They tend not to advertise that fact AT ALL. They're also quite shitty about differentiating between the 80 hour system and the 80 Dual Tuner system. Terms like "dual tuner" turn regular folks off -- average joe doesn't want to be bothered with the concept of tuners ("Why would I need two?")

Well, if you want to record two shows at once, then you have to get the dual tuner. And they only had one model left on the shelf. Either TiVo's trying to unload the sole tuner model, or people are figuring shit out (Go people!)

Now, I really wanted to get the 180 DUAL TUNER version, but I didn't want to wait to order it, blah blah. And they had all these fantastic rebates ($150 towards the player, and $40 towards the first 3 months of service), so fuck it.

I hauled it up to the front of the store, only because I hadn't grabbed a cart beforehand. BB's carts have wee baskets with a big undershelf for, well, big stuff. I looked around for a normal type cart, but no, they don't exist in the world of Best Buy.

Well, shitballs. This mofo is going to be a bitch to push around the store. Plus I look like a 'tronics 'tard who can't carry a TiVo box under one arm while flipping through the racks for a Nelly cd, or 70's Mellow Gold.

Ahem.

I put the TiVo box on the undershelf of the cart and tooled it around the store, like a tool, forcing people to jump out of the way MAKE ROOM FOR THE 80 HOUR TIVO BOX DIPSHIT. (Although someone must've noticed I was bright enough to buy the dual tuner).

I grabbed a long phone cord (I went for the 50 footer, just in case), then browsed DVDs and CDs, taking up half an aisle with my cart. Threw a few Bridget Jones soundtracks and an Alan Jackson cd in my wee basket, plus "The Little Mermaid" and "High Tension" (unrated) on DVD. Eclectic, who me?

You know, with me, it's either sunshine or gore. That would be a fantastic quote on eHarmony, wouldn't it? Ooooh!

So, I got all my goodies home, and after some bastard setup (cords and user guides and unplugging and replugging and did I do this right?) I managed to get that fucker set up.

It is so awesome.

I stayed up half the night programming stuff to record and watching stuff and then deleting it to make room for more stuff. My list to watch is two screens long. Some of my programs will be deleted early to make room, but if I set them to delete only when I choose, it'll stop recording all my new stuff when there's no space. It's becoming like an inbox.

And, fuck me, a chore.

Thus, I jumped on Diaryland tonight.

Hi! What's up?

Wow. Cool.

Hey, you wanna join me for hot dogs and a swiss cake roll?

Excellent.

You know, I have six hours of the X-Files, seven hours of Law & Order: SVU and CI, plus the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, Reno 911!, History's Mysteries, Supermodels Gone Bad, plus a half hour of Squidbillies and Aqua Teen Hunger Force to watch tonight. Somehow I have to manage to go to work in between all that.

Totally do-able, of course.

All I need is two more sets of eyeballs.

You in? Cool! Here's a hot dog.

I need to go to bed now.