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2006-10-17 - 6:58 p.m.

Bearing Crosses

My favorite co-worker, who never gets bent out of shape, has been bent out of shape all week (what's an angry triangle look like? A starburst on a bright orange sales flyer?)

So Monday afternoon, I was tossing around stories about Caligula from the History channel ("You know he was a really bad dude, right? Cruel, hedonistic, violent, insane, blah blah. Well, get this: He only ruled for 4 years and was murdered at age 28! I thought he was like, like 60 or some shit. And they killed his wife...which I can sorta understand, but THEN they took his 3 year-old daughter Drusilla, picked her up by the ankles and bashed her head against a wall! Jesus, right? But GET THIS: I was reading up on it today, and it turns out that Drusilla -- she was named after one of the sisters he supposedly slept with - was quite the fiend of a toddler. When she first interacted with other children, she'd try to claw their eyes out. Caligula was pleased and said that's how he knew she was his daughter. So now I'm thinking -- geez, I don't feel so bad her skull got busted open, ya know?") and my co-worker was trying to be polite and make comments ("wow, I didn't know that").

Little did I realize, she was buried up to her neck in paperwork and was about ready to knock me against a wall for rambling on about some goddamn crazy Roman ruler and his evil toddler.

So awhile later, still unawares, I asked her a question about the total points for the farm's monthly & year-end horseracing contest. She'd sent an email out to the office folks over the weekend (she came in on Sunday - ugh!) and after looking at the new scores, I was curious as to whether she thought I still had a shot at making 50 bucks as a monthly winner.

She started pawing through her data and said I hadn't made any points in September. I grabbed my laminated list o' horses and said "No, that's not right. I think I had three horses." Then she realized she was looking at last month's list. She found the new list and was running through the horses I'd received points for ("...and 5 points for BlahBlah.")

"Oh, that's not right. He placed twice last month."

"He did?"

"Yeah...9/15 and 9/30."

"Oh, shit."

Meanwhile, the winner had just gotten his $50 from accounting, and co-worker had to say "Hold on a minute before you spend that money! I made a mistake."*

I thought she was merely annoyed by her error, until she looked at me at said:

"Next month, YOU can tally the points."

"What?"

"YOU can do it next month. I don't have time for this crap. I WAS HERE FOR SIX HOURS ON SUNDAY! I've got too much to do!" (she waved her arms around to show all the papers on her desk)

I backed up. "Oh...ok..."

WTF? She never takes her frustration out on other people like I do!

Then our newest co-worker chimed in jokingly "Oh, are you going on again about how you came in on a Sunday?"

For a moment, the evil eye moved to its new target, so I made my escape and started getting ready to leave.

Sheesh!

*The original monthly winner was STILL the winner with the new tally, so WHEW, and I still have a head, and 10 more points. Score!

So last night, I started thinking of ways I could help out my stressed co-worker. Hey, I was really frustrated late last year ('MEMBER THAT?) with projects (did I ever get any help, except medicinally? HELL NO!) yet I thought if I could ease the burden, she might be pleasant to be around again.

Couple problems:

1) If I offered, would I setting myself for tedious work? Prolly. But the key point was, if I offered once, would she turn to me the next time she needed help, and the next time, etc? Until it became MY job?

2) Are the projects so complicated that I can't be of help? (Too long to explain, something that can't be parceled out, etc)

I figured I'd see how she acted this morning, see what was on my plate, and try to leave her alone as much as possible. NO CALIGULA STORIES OR BRITNEY/K-FED RUMORS.

See, as many of my long-term readers know, I'm extremely efficient at work. I'm organized, a multi-tasker, quick, pro-active, goal-oriented and self-motivated. Your basic perfect administrative assistant cover letter come to life.

When I'm not being a lazy goofball. Who likes to joke around and surf the web.

BUT ONLY WHEN MY PROJECTS ARE DONE. (HEL-lo, Lumbergh).

Now, I can do mind-numbing data entry and still lighten things with banter, or relay things that interest me, even if no one else gives a shit.

That Caligula story? The whole time I told it, I was entering shit like "Poultice L/hock" and "Neobac R. eye x2." Now multiply those entries by 150 and that's just the teeniest part of what I do in a day.

Anyhoo, I've been thinking off and on that my co-worker, smart and wonderful though she may be, doesn't schedule her time well. Too much shit on her plate? Yes. Underpaid? Most fucking likely. Bored and frustrated? Don't doubt it. Don't get me wrong. She's good, but she doesn't "hustle." She'll get hung up on some stupid thing that takes an hour, while ignoring 3 tasks that would've taken her 3 minutes, which wind up costing her 3 hours later on. Her prioritization skills need sharpening.

On the other hand, her job/title encompasses so much more than mine does, so if she puts in 50+ hour weeks (on a 40 hour salary), maybe she is compensated at year's end somehow.