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2007-01-17 - 9:19 p.m.

With Bliss Comes Great Hunger

Today was a perfect example of how I envisioned my deliberate unemployment.

I slept in till around 10, smoked a cig while flipping channels (cartoons, news, weather channel, a snatch of "Basic Instinct" -- pun intended -- on Bravo), then threw on some clothes and walked the dogs. Had a brief chat with a nearby neighbor (who's been unemployed purposely as long as I've lived here; she's divorced with a teenage daughter, lives with her sister and must be using spousal & child support to pitch in with the bills). We discussed, in record time, the finer points of sleeping late and/or taking a nap in the middle of the day.

My eyes were watering from the frigid wind, so we said our goodbyes as I pulled the dogs back on course towards our door.

SweetPea and Buddy bounded upstairs while I put my jacket and scarf in the closet, then raced up after them to get a pot of coffee brewing. I have one of those fancy BUNN coffee makers (a Christmas gift from my brother and sis-in-law about 5 years ago), which has a hot water holding tank, so it brews a full pot of coffee in about a minute. I LOVE it.

The dogs had already cozied up in bed and I quickly followed suit. I propped up my pillows, grabbed my notepad and pen from the nightstand, flipped on a movie I'd recorded on TiVo ("My Favorite Year" - eehhh, 'twas okay), leaned back, lit a cig, and sipped on coffee while writing out my to do list for the day.

In between refills, I jumped up to take care of various things. I put some clothes in the dresser, boxed up a stack of "souvenir t-shirts" (any shirt that I love for a special reason that's almost worn out, or was never worn for whatever reason -- I like to keep a few in pristine condition, plus some t-shirts never made it into general circulation after being buried at the bottom of a drawer. Might as well leave them unworn), then I grabbed the vacuum for another quick sweep around the bedroom, which led to using the extension hose on the baseboards and in the corners that I'd bypassed the time before.

More coffee, more cigs, more scribbling on my to-do list along with crossing out of items as I went along. I moved my stuff into the living room to get online and check my bank balance (a-ok!) and my favorite sites. The dogs were cozied up on the couch and big blue chair, so I was finally able to strip the bed and throw the sheets and blankets in the wash.

Before I knew it, I was onto my daily intake of diet coke, and started dusting and doing more vacuuming in the bedroom. I threw the sheets and blankets in the dryer, started another load, and stood up on a chair in the living room to use the extension hose on the ceiling fan while "Lucas" played on TV (I saw that movie in the theater when I was a teen -- I had such a crush on Corey Haim). I took a break, wrote out a big check to one of my credit card companies (UGH! but it HAD to be done per the master plan), then started cleaning out the fireplace with the "ash cup" (specially designated, with a Sharpie-written title and everything). Dumped that bag in the trash and was content.

But it wasn't enough. So I vacuumed the rest of the ashes out with the hose. Excellent!

I put the sheets on the bed, sprayed the pillows with my favorite scent, ate leftovers for lunch, walked the dogs again, and cuddled up with them in bed for a spell while watching "Law & Order." I could've easily taken a nap and not done another thing all day.

But I wasn't quite tired enough and wanted to get a jump on some other errands slated for tomorrow. I hopped in the shower around 4, took down a bag of trash, bebopped over to the grocery store for some items, checked the mail (and mailed the fat check to the credit card company), ate dinner and watched my newest Netflix movie "Little Miss Sunshine" in my fresh soft bed as the sun was setting. Ahhhhhhhhh.

The movie was delightful (not as laugh-out-loud funny as I'd expected, and certainly a bit darker), but the ending brought everything together in such a wonderful, bittersweet way, it brought happy tears to my peepers! Good stuff, good stuff.

Now I'm cozied up by my laptop in front of a roaring fire, the dogs are snoozing happily, and I feel a serene sense of accomplishment. Good job, good job.

For awhile there in the beginning of my time off, all the organizing I was doing was "hidden" (drawers and cabinets), then I began cleaning but didn't feel like organizing. Over the weekend I dug into more of the external organization stuff, and finally now I feel I've gotten the two in synch, for the most part. I'm amazed at how light it makes me feel. Well, actually, no...I knew I would feel this way again. It's what I craved. But I felt so very far away from sane calmness, especially with all my job nonsense.

And even though this sense of peace might only last a day, I want to soak it up and appreciate it. YUM. I wish I could bottle this airy perfect feeling of balance.

Note: I am thisclose to digging out some incense and my Feng Shui books right now. But goddammit, the books are buried somewhere in my bedroom closet. *Wait, wait* Let's not discuss the CLOSET OF DOOM/LAIR OF SATAN right now, lest my peace of mind go straight to hell.

Oh, by the way, speaking of yum and off-topics, I'm going to share with you one of the secrets of the universe:

How to Cook the Perfect Microwaved Burrito, by Halo Askew:

1) Take your favorite variety of frozen burrito (I like Marquez) and pop that bastard into the mi-coh for approximately 30 seconds (heating times may vary!)

2) Remove burrito (it should still be somewhat frozen & stiff, like a Mormon couple on their wedding night), and lightly slather with a coat of margarine or butter. Do not forget the ends, people. The purpose here is to add a wee bit of flavor and keep the tortilla from drying out.

3) Cook for approximately another 30 seconds.

4) Place several square or rectangular thinnish slices of VELVEETA (do NOT substitute, do NOT use Kroger brand, do NOT use cheddar or Cheez-Whiz) along the length of the squishy half-cooked butter softened burrito.

5) Cook for approximately another minute, until the cheese is melted all nice and wonderful-like (it should be dribbling down the sides) and the center of the 'rito is hot.

6) Wait a minute or two before eating. TRUST ME ON THIS. Unless you want to put Ora-Gel the roof of your mouth all night, like I'm doing. Cutting up the burrito into pieces and testing bits is acceptable...but BE CAREFUL. Hot beans and cheese are so painfully enticing, next to that one tiny section in the middle with a sad cold bean & surrounding bits that didn't cook so well. The other beans cooked like a son of a bitch and are scalding hot. Do not be fooled.

7) Enjoy! You never knew a 37 cent frozen burrito could taste so good, did you? (Excluding the times you were high)

8) Two minutes after you feel full, the blisters on the roof of your mouth will begin to form. Slather on the Ora-Gel, you stupid fucker.

I also have a great queso recipe, but I don't know if you folks can handle it.

In the meantime, send me your special microwave tips & recipes for craptastic food! (stovetop recipes involving canned soup, mac and cheese, or Chef Boyardee will also be considered).

BRING IT!