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2007-02-28 - 7:22 a.m.

Out of the Frying Pan...

Peoples! I have returned to Houston! Do you know what it's like to be unable to go online for nearly a week? DO YOU? I felt like goddamn Laura Ingalls Wilder with sweatpants.

So here's the basics on Dad's situation: He was moved from the ICU Monday evening (2/19) back to a regular room. Mom and I drove to Baton Rouge Tuesday morning (took us over 7 hours with traffic and construction). For awhile I thought we were homefree on I-10 East when I figured out we could use the HOV lane. Yay! Then I took the wrong exit and we had to turn around. Finally managed to get back in the HOV lane...then I mistakenly veered off towards downtown like a moron. (I was tired and stressed. And HOV exits are confusing. And I hadn't had any breakfast. So there.) We wound up frustratingly bebopping around one-way streets in downtown for 15 minutes trying to figure out how the hell to get back on I-10. Neither one of us had seen downtown Houston in a few years anyhoo. So there.

I finally managed to free ourselves from the maze and we were back on the road. Whee. GO ME.

Mom called my brother from the road. He needed to head out for Dallas by 2 pm and it didn't look like we'd arrive till 4. So that whole awkward deal with seeing (possibly talking to?) my brother was completely avoided. On one hand, I was relieved, and on the other, I was disappointed.

So we finally arrived at the hospital and Dad was sitting in his room with his legs elevated in a chair. He was tired, but he was more clear-headed and in tune to his surroundings than we expected. He seemed pleased to see us, but was pissy about being in the hospital and having his fluids restricted (varied between 800 to 1000 cc's a day. 1000 cc's = 1 liter). He'd been told he might be released Wednesday, so he was focused on that idea. His legs and feet were swollen from fluid retention, and his sodium level was still low, but much closer to the normal range. He showed us the bruise on his right side and it was horrible looking. Huge. Probably 2.5 feet in length and 7-8 inches wide. Dark purple. Oddly, however, he claimed it wasn't hurting him at all.

One of the doctors (Dr. G) made rounds about 7 pm. He checked Dad while we peppered him with questions. Apparently, Dad's sodium level was one of the lowest he'd ever seen. It's possible he may have suffered seizures at the house when he fell. And Dad had been very close to going into a coma and dying from water toxicity.

HOLY SHIT.

Part of the issue is that he has congestive heart failure. Another part is that he drinks waaaay too much soda. TONS of it. Yet another is that his body tends to retain the fluid, due to heart failure, the amount of soda he drinks and the sodium in the soda (and his food).

The doctor explained that while it's a confusing concept (even for physicians), sodium levels are actually a measure of fluid intake, not sodium intake. You could drink a glass of salt water and it wouldn't increase the sodium in your blood. And the last thing Dad needs is a situation that doesn't seem to make sense.

We wanted Dad to rest, and we needed to get something to eat, get to his house, unpack and rest ourselves. By the time we settled down for the night, it was nearly 11 pm.

The next morning at the hospital, we discovered that Dad's sodium level had dipped again, and his swelling had increased. They put him on a stronger diuretic and were monitoring his outtake. However, Dad only thought they needed urine for a sample, and when the diuretic really kicked in, he didn't realize he was supposed to keep using the container (we straightened that out with him and told the nurse). When the nurse told him she was pretty sure he wouldn't be released that day, Dad became very depressed and asked us to leave. FINE.

Mom and I headed to Wal-Mart near his house to get some food and items we needed. Did you know they sell hard liquor at Wal-Marts (and convenience stores) in Louisiana? I spotted a display of vodka on sale over by the beverage aisle. We know those Cajuns like to party, but Jesus. Plus, what happened to Wal-Mart's moral code? Oh, that whole profit concept must've made them reconsider.

Back at the house, we ate lunch and I took a nap, while mom worked on cleaning Dad's kitchen (she was too wired to sleep). We arrived back at the hospital around 4, and Dad was in a better mood. He apologized for running us off and wondered why we'd been gone so long. The latest news (while we were gone) from his other doctor (Dr. K) was that he probably wouldn't be released till Friday. Surprisingly, Dad seemed to be dealing with the further delay better than we expected.

All was going as well as it could be for a few hours. We watched a show on History channel about the history of seasonal garage/yard shit (lawnmowers, snowblowers, grills, etc). Fascinating. NOT. I guess some bigwig in programming got sick of documentaries on Rome, Greece, Egypt, Pompeii, the Mob, Titanic, Nazis, Hitler, the Holocaust, Eva Braun, Hitler's relatives, Eva Braun's relatives, Holocaust survivors, WWII, Himmler and Hess, the SS, the Gestapo, and Eva and Hitler dancing with no rhythm on YouTube.

Once the show ended, Dad began griping about being in the hospital. We said we knew he hated it, but it was the best thing for him. We started discussing his fluid intake and his condition, he became very irate and extremely pissy. He wouldn't listen to us. We knew he would be that way, but it was so fucking unpleasant.

We backed off so he'd settle down, and watched part of another show on TV to distract us all from the uncomfortable silence. When the clock struck 9 pm, we jumped up to leave. We couldn't WAIT to get out of there.

Getting back to his house to settle in for the night was a little piece of heaven.

Thursday morning rolled around. We had to suffer through more of his bitching and whining. He continued to complain about his fluid restrictions and how dry his mouth was. Another round of arguments ensued about his condition. At one point, he exclaimed "Jesus Christ, I never should've invited you two here!"

EXCUSE US? WE CAME HERE BECAUSE YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL (AGAIN!) AND COULD'VE DIED!

No matter what we said, it fell on deaf ears. We finally relented and went down to cafeteria to eat when his lunch arrived. We went back to the room and spent a few more hours with Mr. Cranky Hospital Gown. Drove to the house for a break and came back later that evening. He was in a better mood, with his sights set on being released in the morning/afternoon.

If they decided to keep him another day or more, we knew there would be a huge shitstorm, on the other hand, we wanted him to stay in the hospital as long as possible for his own goddamned good.

I've got to wrap this up for now since I'm tying up mom's phone line, but the bottom line is that Dad was released Friday afternoon. There's a whole big story about what happened when we stopped to drop off a new prescription and Dad wanted me to run in and get him a diet Dr. Pepper.

UH HUH.

I KNOW.

He's already gone back to work, but is barely holding his own. More on that later, but the good thing is that he's got two doctor appointments today and one of Friday. And mom and I had a long discussion with Dr. K's nurse on Monday (Dad went in for a blood test related to his blood thinners - thankfully, he's in the normal range on that). But I bet his sodium level is screwed to high (low?) hell again.

I'm off to take a nap. I was up at 5 am yesterday so we could hit the road by 6. Had a few naps, but the dogs (happy to be reunited with momma) kept waking me up. Then they woke me up again this morning, and I've been up since 5:45. I've had a zillion cups of coffee. Tired/wired. WHEEEEE!

Will post more later, folks. Thanks again for everyone's kind wishes and thoughts!