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2007-03-13 - 8:10 p.m.

I Hope the After Life Isn't This Complicated

So I decided to check into Second Life today. I was chatting on the phone to my sis-in-law, we got to talking about websites, and she mentioned it.

"Oh! I've heard of that! I went to the website once after a Diaryland friend mentioned it sometime last year. She said it was really easy to get sucked into. Then I saw a show about some folks who make money on there, designing digital costumes...and some people sell artwork and stuff. It sounds so neat!" I gushed.

She was telling me what she'd heard about it, and we discussed the money factor.

"I know you can exchange real money buying and selling, but don't they also have their own currency?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so...hold on, lemme check the site. Yep. Second Life currency is called the Linden," she replied.

(I had no idea where they came up with that word, but I now know it's named after SL's development company, Linden Labs).

Anyhoo, after giggling over possibilities, like her becoming a single gal vamp, hanging out at clubs (No hubby! No kids!), I asked if she plans to join up.

"Ohhhh, I dunno. I'm afraid I might get addicted," she replied.

"Yeah, me too. But now I wanna go check it out!"

So this afternoon, after finding out the A/C work on my car would cost over $400 (they finally discovered an expansion valve problem when I took it back in today), I felt like I NEEDED a second life.

I was delighted to find out a basic membership was free. I quickly began the registration process.

First, I had to select a Second Life first and last name. Now, this is weird: You can choose any first name you like (between 2 - 31 characters), but you have to select from a long drop-down menu of last names. Huh? How odd.

While there are a few "normal" (common) last names, like Allen, Carter and Mills, the rest are either foreign/ethnic sounding (DeCuir, Basevi, Dagostino, Yoshikawa), funky/interesting/weird (Snook, Voom, Writer), but many are downright ugly and Star Trek-ish (Dryke, Taurog, Uggla).

After much debate, I started honing in on the last names of: Sands, Janus, Rossini, Shepherd, Beaumont and Writer.

But the one I really liked, for whatever reason, was Zenovka.

Then I thought "Zoe Zenovka" was pretty and interesting, so I tried it and checked name availability.

NOPE. Not available. I thought of all the first names I liked and decided upon "Angelina" (she has Brad, as will I, eventually). NOPE. Not available. And then I noticed something else. It wasn't only unavailable with Zenovka, it wasn't available at ALL (it had been used in combo with every other last name). I double-checked "Zoe" and received the same message.

Since SL has like 4 million registered users...the chances of using a much-liked first name were pretty slim. After trying out some rarer names as a test, I found "Mariska" was available on about 20 last names, but not on any I really liked. I also discovered the differently spelled "Zoey" was available, but ditto on the last names.

By this time, I'd spent nearly a fucking HOUR trying to pick out a goddamned name for a program I wasn't even sure I'd LIKE yet. But once you pick a name, you can't change it, so they warned folks to be very careful when choosing.

For about two minutes, I thought about naming myself "Jaunty Writer." Cuz it's cute.

But good god, I didn't wanna be kicked out for being a complete GOOBER my first day with the cool kids.

Plus, it didn't really go with the image I wanted to portray. Jaunty Writer doesn't convey HOT BITCH, does it?

In desperation, I finally started thinking about names of famous female racehorses I admired. I went onto the Jockey Club names registry to get some ideas (since the baby names site didn't quite pan out to my satisfaction). And suddenly, I got it! AZERI. I saw her race live (and win) to boot.

So I typed it in, and not surprisingly, it was available. What the hell, I thought?

I'm now Azeri Zenovka in my NEW life. ("Hi sailor. Nice to meet you.")

So I finished up the registration, and then discovered I had to download a client application to my PC.

Oh. Fine, I guess. I hit the save button and realized with my dial-up, this was gonna take some time. Over an H-O-U-R later, I was ready to install that bad boy.

Bink! BeBoop! Somewhere at that point, I started wondering if my laptop was up to par for the graphics. And that, geezoo, playing it online would be awfully slow without a high speed connection. But I just wanted to LOGIN and check stuff out to satiate my intense curiosity. I could limp around like a geezer for awhile. I'd keep to the alleyways and dark corners until my long beautiful getaway sticks were up to speed. And supposedly you can fly too, so Peter Pan can just bite me.

So, FINALLY, Second Life started to open...and then it froze and crashed. I tried again, got through the login screen, and then it crashed again. A message popped up that my video card was not up to snuff. I furiously tried to figure out if updated drivers would help (another hour download, that probably won't do a thing).

I finally decided to take a good look at the system requirements. I kinda bypassed that step earlier, in my haste and excitement.

*CABLE OR DSL connection required. Will not work on dial-up.*

FUCK!

And my video card is on their shit list of incompatible ones. Actually, my exact model is "untested."

So after over 2 HOURS of registering and downloading the software, I can't even get ON the fucking progam. Sweet.

In the midst of doing research on video cards and whatnot, I ran across some articles about Second Life and the basic criticism is that most of it's hype at the moment, but the potential is big and yet to be explored. Also, it's not compatible with Windows Vista which is causing quite the bitch fest over on the Second Life Forum. I'm not touching Vista with a ten foot pole until I'm forced to, so at least I don't have that issue.

All in all, at least I've got a basic membership and that pesky picking a name shit is out of the way (which seemed like loads of fun -- at first).

I'll be getting high speed when I return to Lexington...so if I can figure out the video card issue, I might be in (literal) business. I'd love to have some virtual land at some point, and a store to display/sell stuff. What stuff? I don't know yet! Of course, all that real estate costs actual moolah (plus a monthly fee), so who knows. First off, I'll have to focus on actually becoming a part of the community (the whore to end all whores!) and see if I even like it.

IF I CAN EVER GET RAMPED UP TO LOGIN, that is.

Something fun to think about, at any rate.

Not that I need a new project or "thing" on my plate. I still have many inches (mmmm...inches) to go on my scarf, and after buying MORE yarn (on sale!) and needles (also on sale!) at Hob Lob, I need to start getting into the knitty gritty (ha HA) on planning my next project. Well, first I need to do some test squares and try out new techniques.

Mom and I also swung by Half Price Books -- once again! -- and gobbled up more stuff. This time, we browsed the clearance corner in the back (nothing over $3) and I found lots of neat paperbacks (Joyce Carol Oates, Sidney Sheldon, etc -- 50 cents each) and a couple Sue Grafton hardbacks for $2 a piece. After checking out the front area with "new" stuff marked down, I waltzed out with two bags of goodies, including 10+ books, 2 boxes of notecards, 1 small address book, and a couple big fridge magnets...for $24!

The magnets have a wide shot picture of an empty Arizona highway, with the red rock formations off in the distance, surrounded by clear blue sky. They feature one of my all-time favorite quotes: "Life is short, but it's wide."

I'm a magnet collector and it was just...perfect! (I also collect keychains and postcards from my travels).

The reason I bought two magnets was because there's a certain someone, very new to my life, who has already inspired me a great deal. Perhaps we'll exchange addresses down the line. If so, I know the first thing I'm going to tuck into a goodie box.

Speaking of which, good lord, I love goodie boxes. I love preparing them, I love getting them. But in all honesty, I think I love giving them more. Which reminds me, keep Blue *CENSORED* Meany in your thoughts. Iraq better watch out, because our favorite D-land sarcastic beee-yotch in uniform is getting redeployed in a week. And take it from me: That whore LOVES Pringles. I bet she'd like shoestring potatoes too, come to think of it. And don't forget the Thick Jims. I mean, Slim Jims.

By the way, was there ever a better, bolder ad campaign than "EAT ME!", I ask you? Right to the point. The ol' bottom line, as it were. Ahem.

Alright...I'm off to noodle about online. I might get into trouble. I'm feelin' FIESTY.