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2007-05-04 - 3:23 p.m.

Giddyup!

Yo, peeps! How are you this fine Friday? Ready for the weekend? Me too! Even though I'm not working! But thanks to all of you, for going out everyday and keeping the economy hoppin'. I'll be out there busting my ass soon enough, once that new Stuckey's opens up off the interstate.

Soooo...my dental appointment went well yesterday morning, but this morning I noticed a sharp edge on my re-glued-on crown, and it's cutting the hell outta my tongue. Ahhhaaaa. I believe their office closes early on Fridays, so let's hope I can keep my tongue in one piece till Monday rolls around.

Otherwise, I might have to go in and fix the sitch with a nail file. Or some sandpaper. And you know, I'd really rather not.

In other (much less painful) news, do you people realize that the Kentucky Derby is TOMORROW? Woot! And I'm sure you've heard on the news that Queen Elizabeth II is visiting and will be attending her first Derby. I think it would be fabulous if she moshed in the infield with all the drunken kooks, but I doubt that's on her schedule of activites. I believe she's staying in nearby Versailles at the farm owned by the former British Ambassador Will Farrish, so maybe on Sunday I'll drive by the farm and scream out the window "Welcome to Kentucky! Smash says FOOK, Your Majesty!"

Or you know, not.

I'm toying with the idea of jaunting over to Keeneland tomorrow to watch the race on simulcast and place a few bets. I didn't go to the Keeneland meet in April as I normally do, and I'm jonesing for the track atmosphere. Perhaps I will don some Daisy Dukes and a crop top that says "I need a stiff one." That should get me a few free drinks, dontcha think? *smirk*

Oh, and speaking of ho(rse)s, I had a nice chat with our Board President today and I need to gather up some Exceller Fund t-shirts and goodies to mail for a horse show next week, featuring our beloved "SuperBiscuit" Rich In Dallas. If you happen to live in the Virginia area, I encourage you to attend!

I should run out and buy a Derby t-shirt now that I think of it, but maybe I'll wait a few days for when they're on clearance. I also buy a mint julep glass every year, although the hardest thing I ever use 'em for is V8, or alka seltzer. Just the perfect size. And this may sound crazy, but I love the taste of alka seltzer. Especially if it's put in ice cold water. It's the only upside to a tummy ache. Heh.

Ohhhh, now I want a V8. I think I've got a big container in the pantry. Should pop that baby in the fridge for later. Yummy! Would be a nice break from all the Diet Coke I've been inhaling lately. Wheeee! *crash* *opens another* Wheeee! *crash* *opens another* WHEEEEEE!

Have you guys seen that new Diet Coke Plus that's out now? It's got VITAMINS & MINERALS. I bought a 12-pack to try it out. I hope it doesn't have a weird taste to it. It shouldn't, but you never know. Eventually they'll just have to go back to adding in cocaine per the original formula. They can call it "Old Coke." Then they can make "Old Coke for Old Folks" with Viagra and Aricept. Wouldn't that be a trip at the dinner table?

Man looks at wife: "I just remembered! I want to have sex with you NOW, woman!"

Wife blushes and stammers: "But Joe, um, the neighbors are here."

"Aww, hell, we'll get them in bed too! Come on everyone! More score with four! WHOOOOO!"

Sex on the brain? Who me? Noooo, noooo, not at alllllll.

*biting lip*

Have a great weekend, y'all!