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2008-06-29 - 5:47 a.m.

Peep? Is this thing on?

Gah. I did something to my lower back and it's sore and squibbly. That's what I get for having group sex with a bunch of sailors. (When will I learn? GRRRRRRR!)

Actually, it was much less exciting...and STD free. I believe it stemmed from hauling 6 bags of groceries in my left hand, while balancing a 20 pound sack of dog kibble on my right shoulder this afternoon. All because I didn't want to make two trips. SMART. *slaps self*

But the dogs are happy. Last night on my way home from work I picked up a small bag of Puppy Chow for them at the convenience store ($3 cheaper than Dog Chow) to tide them over until I could deal with running to the grocery store. We've already discussed my distaste for Kroger in great detail, so I won't go there again.

Oh, but speaking of stores...I usually run over to the gas station on my break about 4 pm most weekdays, to buy a cold soda, since bossman hasn't bought a fridge yet. So I was in there on Wednesday, went up to the counter with my Diet Coke and two bags of chips (I'd hardly eaten my lunch), and I swear the clerk must've been stoned. I have never seen ANYONE scan anything so SLOW in my ENTIRE GODDAMNED LIFE. I stood there, watching his hand drift vaguely to each item like some fuckin' half-dead turtle. I was nearly jumping out of my skin in absolute frustration. To make matters worse, after he took my credit card, I asked "do I need to sign for this?" (thinking maybe purchases under a certain amount didn't require it), and he looked at me with unfocused kitten eyes, and said "Huh, what?" I repeated the question: "Do I need to sign the receipt?" He looked at me intently for about 20 seconds, taking in my query, the wheels in his mind beginning to churn, and then he finally caught a clue, glanced over at the register and noticed the receipt.

JESUS. He S-L-O-W-L-Y reached for it, tore it off tenderly, like he was extracting a baby from a well, and EVENTUALLY handed it to me. Fuck, turtle boy! GET WITH THE PROGRAM. I was scowling by the time I got back into my car, but he was really cute, so at least I got to stare at him during my ordeal. The really cute ones are ALWAYS stupid, aren't they? I pegged him as a high school jock type. He'll probably get some basquillion dollar scholarship to Notre Dame because he can KICK A FOOTBALL (don't see this one being a runner). Just don't make him do anything hard, like putting objects in a bag, unless you have 17 hours to spare. *rolls eyes*

In other news, work is going great! I realllllly like it! I mean, of course I'd rather be fucking around and/or sleeping, but overall, it's pretty cool. One thing that set me off the other day though...the web consultant guy came in to discuss additional changes with bossman (we actually had a great chat about web stuff prior to bossman's return from lunch), and when web guy inquired about an email address for me, I overhead my boss reply "Well, I hired her through a temp service, so that could change at anytime. Let's just use 'assistant@....'" Ohhhhhh. SLAM! Quite disconcerting. Last I heard, I'd be there at least 3 months. I would THINK that entitles me to have my OWN NAME on an EMAIL ADDRESS. It's not like it would be hard to disable it and create a new one.

And even though I heard from the temp agency that he's very happy and thinks I'm "energetic and enthusiastic," I'm wondering if he might want to replace me with a "real" legal secretary later on. Bonus OH SNAP realization...I caught a peek at the temp agency bill (he handed me over the expense file without thinking), and they are making nearly $8 an hour over what I'm getting! Of course, that spares him from having to pay taxes and all that...but shit. I'm wondering if/how I can finagle a raise from him soon, with their costs being so high. Bottom line, I cannot pay all my bills on what I make now. Plus, no health care as of Tuesday, since my COBRA is nearly gone. On the upside, I do have more legal experience under my belt, so if I get the boot or whatever, I can now go for the higher paying admin positions.

And oh, this is so cool, I'm a Notary Public now! I had to take an oath at the county courthouse and part of it said some weirdo historic shit about "I have never participated in a duel with deadly weapons"...WTF? After I said the oath, I chuckled and said "That's the first time I've ever been asked about my involvement in duels. Good thing I haven't been involved in any." The clerk and my boss laughed. Law is bizarre crap. But it all SOUNDS neato, so YAY.

Moving right along to family crap (and the law), my Dad was served divorce papers on Monday. Apparently he's staying at some Value Inn close to mom and the family (even though mom requested he stay in an adjoining town). They are tracking him online via credit card purchases. He hasn't responded to the papers yet, but I'm sure he's totally shocked she went through with it. My nephews have been told to stay away from him if Dad (they call him "Poppa") happens to come to their house. They're terribly confused. It's not that we think he'll hurt them, it's just that Dad cut himself off from the family when he left, so now he has to suffer the consequences. The whole thing is very sad. I'm still in shock myself. But my Dad wanted everyone to get off his back and stop nagging him. DONE! He's been a complete ass to mom through their ENTIRE 40 year marriage, but this last year has tested her last nerve. He appreciates NOTHING anyone does for him. Everyone has bent over backwards to accomodate him and his needs. He thinks he's the only person who matters. Cares NOTHING for others. I've known this for so long about him, but he's REALLY showing his bad side lately.

I was floored to find out recently that my mom was never crazy about him, even in the beginning. I mean, I guess I thought they were in love and all that after a whirlwind courtship, but she said "No...I didn't love him. I liked him a lot, and he chased me, wanted to settle down. I was young, he was older, and I thought he'd be a good provider and father, and that's what we did in those days...got married." Geh! How awful! It's one thing to lose love over a matter of years, but to never be in love to begin with?

This is why I've never been married! Terribly afraid of winding up with the wrong person.

But I've been meeting guys here and there online...one guy in particular from a dating web site (shuuuuush!) that has captured my interest. We're getting to know each other, and hopefully we'll meet in real life soon. He lives relatively close. So far, so good! We'll see. These things usually don't pan out (reference: my past), so I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

In the meantime, I'm kinda intrigued by one of the guys who works a few doors down at work (the guy who owns the dog), but not sure if he's single. His friend (cute but taken, DAMMIT) said he'd invite me over to a nearby bar some Friday after work. Said they haven't been in awhile, but he'll be sure to ask me next time they go out. Wheeee!

And oh lordy, I met the strangest woman on Friday. She stopped by to drop off some microwave popcorn (great -- we have no microwave yet), and hand out her business card. I guess she's already dropped by two other times and my boss is just rolling his eyes about it. Anyhoo, he was at lunch at the time, so she chatted me up for about 30 minutes. In the first 10, she wound up telling me she was divorced, her ex was a bi-polar alcoholic, her dad was an alcoholic, she used to sell beanie babies for the TY company, she got this new job as the public relations person but really knows nothing about it (I wound up giving her some PR advice), and within the last 20 minutes, she began crying over her ex (so I wound up giving her the name of a few books that might help her). I handed her a tissue at one point. Geh. She wants us to go to lunch soon. She seems really interesting though (hyper, like me) and obviously VERY OPEN, but someone who comes in and blabs all that right off the bat to a stranger? When they're trying to make a sales call? Um....ALARM BELLS.

This work thing, tis interesting. But she's supposed to give me some free beanie babies of "retired" TY famous horses, like Barbaro and Smarty Jones, etc. Kinda doubt she will, but you never know.

I can't WAIT to have another crackpot in my life. Squeeeeee!

Bring it!

Alright...that's enough outta me. Gonna see if I can get some rest, now that the back pain has subsided a bit.

Yes, I'll dream about you and your pretty shirt. *wink*