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2009-01-05 - 10:01 p.m.

Memory Lane

Quite by accident, I stumbled upon an alumni website for my high school last night. There were updates for a lot of folks I knew (or vaguely remembered), so I quickly registered and spent a few delightful hours looking at photos and reading about families, jobs and experiences.

What a total mind trip! It was like going back in time and then being shot back into the present, over and over.

Two things I kept noticing: 1) how many people are married with kids, and 2) how many people still live in and around the same area we grew up in.

I looked at some stats by location and out of about 3,600 registered alumni (from the 1930's to the present day), close to 3,500 still reside in Texas. I swear, 9 out of every 10 profiles I read said something along the lines of "yes, I still live in the area," or "after moving to ____ for a few years, we settled back in Houston." I don't know why, but it's bizarre to me that I'm one of only about 100 or so folks who actually lives out of state.

Another odd thing, there were a lot of folks (mainly women, it seems) who are employed by various school districts in Houston. One of my best friends from elementary school is now a high school principal! I thought the only thing she studied after 6th grade was boys (and vice versa -- ahem), so that was a bit of a shocker.

While I went from elementary school to junior high to high school with most of these kids, friends and acquaintances got lost in the shuffle. Many times as I was looking at names, trying to remember who was who, I sat back and thought "Whoa...he was in my high school graduating class? I don't recall a thing about him since I was 10!"

One total geekwad from elementary school apparently went on to write 3 books about pro wrestling. What struck me as hilarious about this is that I vividly remember a conversation we had in 5th grade, where he went ON and ON and ON about his new fascination for wrestling and that "it's NOT FAKE!" He was the outspoken brainiac in our class, and I still recall my complete confusion that HE of ALL PEOPLE believed that wrestling was NOT STAGED. How could he be that stupid? I lost all my respect for him as a whiz kid during that conversation.

Of course, I didn't know shit about pro wrestling, but I certainly knew enough to realize that shit on TV was FAKE.

I'm amazed to discover that his obsession for wrestling lived on (and on and ON), and while I applaud his success at getting published, I had a good chuckle when I went to Amazon to scan the reviews. One doesn't really expect a literary master to write such a book (especially when the words "Extremely Unauthorized" are in the title), but he got slammed (heh!) by reviewers for "jumping all over the place chronologically" and basically getting key facts about well-known matches dead wrong and confused with other bouts.

Sweet. Good work, man! *shoots finger guns*

By the way, I not only hate pro wrestling, I despise it with a VIOLENT PASSION. As a matter of fact, if there were two completely worthless things I could destroy from this planet right now, they would be: 1) Pro Wrestling, and 2) Gwyneth Paltrow's Ego.

Oh, wait. Can I have one more? Yay! Thanks!

3) Hootie & the Blowfish. All trace. Every reference. LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED.

*Claps delightfully* (Make it so, Number 2!)

Anyhoo, where was I? Oh right, high school stuff. I began sending friend requests to folks I'd been close to (the site is similar to Facebook in some ways, minus the cool casino games and people saying SUCK MY COCK! in chat rooms), and out of the blue, I got an approval back from a gal I have been trying to track down for ages. AGES, I tell you! I didn't know her married name, or where her folks had moved to. As far as I can recall, we hadn't spoken since around 1993, when her first child was but a toddler.

She was as floored as I was to get in touch again. She sent me a short message, telling me she logged into the alumni site for the first time in months, after getting a friend request from someone she didn't even remember. While she was online, she got my friend request! Apparently, while she was sorting her attic out last month, she ran across a letter I'd mailed her when we were in college, and laughed her ass off. She's been wondering how I am and wanted to get in touch for years. Weird how life works, huh? I wrote her a rather long email to catch her up on my completely pathetic life, and am now patiently waiting (*checks inbox AGAIN*) for her reply.

In the meantime, two other old friends have added me to their lists. One is a guy I had a crush on in high school, who subsequently had a crush on me, but I wound up dating his best friend. The other guy who added me...is the best friend, my high school boyfriend senior year, Michael!

I actually saw Michael a couple times after college and both times thought, "Was he that effeminate in high school?" Geh. I know. I can pick 'em. He was actually a great guy overall. A bit on the stupid side, but tall and slim, my fave. So sweet. And cute as a button! One of only 2 blonde men I ever dated (that I recall). He had the biggest circle of friends, always in a good mood, always knew where a party was at. He introduced me to half the rest of my graduating class, I swear.

By day, I hung out in the accelerated classes with the brains, but at night, I partied with the animals. Awwww. Happy memories!

So far, Michael hasn't sent me a message, but his buddy David did. Quite a thoughtful, mature response. I was waiting for some silly joke from our high school days. David was smart, but kind of a bad boy, you know? He was super cute too. Piercing blue eyes. Tan. Buzzed haircut with a bit of front spike. HOT! I do remember one crazy night, months after the break-up with Michael, where David and I, drunk off our asses, wound up alone in my TV room.

No, we didn't do it, you pervs! I was a virgin till I was almost 20. But he did teach me an EXTREMELY VALUABLE LESSON that night. As I was about to do something to a man I'd never done before, he stopped me and gently instructed: "Watch the teeth."

Words to live by, ladies. Words to live by!

And you know...per his profile, David is divorced. I saw some romping toddlers in his photo, so geh, but that's why God invented harnesses and chains and leashes. Right?

It never occurred to me to strike up a flirtation with someone I went to high school with, but it couldn't hurt, right?

As long as I watch the teeth, that is.